Mini Trimesters

Trimesters!!!!! yes you guessed it right!!

There have been some transformations in life since my last blog, where, I wrote about the right time for the couple to welcome a new member into the family. I'am glad and happy to announce that me and my husband were able to finally decide on our right time, which started off in August 2015. I consider myself very very lucky in a way, as the journey has been extremely wonderful.

The whole purpose of this blog is to share all my pregnancy experiences. It all started on August 16, 2015 when I missed my pretty perfect 27 days period cycle. The moment I missed, I was sure of the reason, but, just to confirm I did the strip test and the rest is history I can say... I saw the two pink lines and it took some time for me to digest the fact that mini( my nickname) is going to be mini mom!! I immediately took a picture of my pregnancy strip and sent it to my husband, who was jumping in joy in his office.

As many of you might already be aware that trimester system is universally understood in pregnancy journey. Likewise I thought I will split up my journey into three chapters indicating the trimesters respectively. During pregnancy even though majority of the things you feel are similar to what other pregnant women experience, but some of the experiences are quite unique to oneself.  I will try and pen down what I felt and experienced in each phase/ month and also what measures I undertook to overcome any discomforts.

Chapter 1: First Trimester ( Month 1-3 of pregnancy)

This phase I would say was a little messed up as I was hit mildly by nausea and heavily by mood swings. Being a big Bollywood buzz I knew about the puking drill, but I was unaware that it would be a bit overwhelming... I particularly hated the smell of cooked toor daal. It was only few selected fruits which came to my rescue for the first two months. This was the time when I actually lost a lot of weight ( about 4 kgs). But, now when I hold my little one in my arms, I feel every bit of discomfort that I experienced was worth it.

As I slowly approached the end of the first trimester, all the nausea stuff started getting better and better. One thing I would suggest all the ladies in this phase is, however tough it might feel, do not fail to take your meds. You might not like something or everything, but please do not attempt on going empty stomach to bed..Of course the doctor visits during this phase are extremely necessary and kind of relieving too... 

Chapter 2: Second Trimester (Month 4-6 of pregnancy)

This was the most happiest phase out of the three trimesters.  My doc told me at the start of it that this would be the honeymoon phase of my pregnancy with least discomforts and lots of cravings. She was right coz my nauseous mornings disappeared and I started feeling more energetic.. I still keep thinking about the sudden burst of energy and sense of obedience that came my way in this phase. During this stage, the bloating thing hit me hard, I used to feel full with very little food. So, I had to split my meals into 5 parts, breakfast, a short pre lunch break, lunch, afternoon snack break and dinner. I particularly had huge craving for milk and milk products, so I never missed my morning and evening cup of milk.

 At the start of this phase I was experiencing a strange thing. I was feeling as if there was a gas bubble struck in my tummy. As days passed, I started feeling that moving all around the belly, and no sooner I discovered that it was my little baby, who was making his presence felt. This phase was indeed a special one. Me and my husband decided to go for gender check. Even though we were desperately wanting a baby girl, the note from the doctor that the baby's development was going really good was more satisfying.

I cannot completely deny the  fact that I did face some discomforts during this period, it would range from bloating to little difficulty in breathing and feeling the pressure of the developing baby on my ribs. Amidst all of the discomforts, I never stopped my morning yoga sessions and never let the feeling of being pregnant affect me in doing my regular chores. As a matter of fact, I did a whole lot of cleaning and gardening work.

Chapter 3: Third Trimester (Month 7-9 of pregnancy)

The opening part of this chapter was nothing different from the last one , but as I progressed, I did realize that it is going to be a little difficult in terms of fear of how I would manage myself. On one hand I was worrying about the after delivery life and on the other I was so happy for the fact that I had a proper timings set for my meals and all other activities of my day. I personally felt that the fact of me not working and being at home during pregnancy, actually made me less stressful.

I loved long drives and most of the days, we would finish dinner by 7:45pm and go out for drives. Also, we would go window shopping in huge stores likes Walmart to finish off my day's walking. by the time we were back home i would have already dozed off in the car. I did a bit of travel during this phase which was a feel good thing for me then. Coming to the bodily changes, Yes the baby was gaining weight and which of course was very evident from the size of my tummy. The pressure on my ribs and my lower abdomen increased and every time I had to pee I would feel that my mucus plug would come out.

Activity wise I was doing the same amount of work, or rather I used to a little extra, which would aid in sleeping.. I was blessed with good sleep through out my pregnancy. Timely food and medications were like second nature to me by now. Adding to the excitement, the monthly Doctor visits now became weekly. Also, we took up the hospital tour and the couple classes offered by the hospital and I should agree, that it did prepare me and specially my husband in welcoming the new member..

I was a month away from my due date and my parents joined us. It was all together a different joy to be with your parents and specially with your mother during this time. I was really fortunate to have my mother( who happens to be a gynecologist) besides me during the time of the delivery. The arrival of my parents kind of made me get into a comfort zone and made me feel more relaxed. As we approached the due date the only thing we were looking out for was "A minute apart contractions". Every time my doc told me to report immediately if I felt contractions, I always used to wonder how they would actually feel. But when I had them, my god!!!! April 22, 2016 around 5pm, i could not forget them till date. But as the saying goes, All's well that ends well, all that pain all that discomfort suddenly vanished with the arrival of my beautiful boy on April 23, 2016 . It surely was a rebirth for me and my husband. There hasn't been and will never be any device which would measure the joy that a parent feels after holding their child. Its simply BLISS.....

Thank you God for this wonderful journey you made us( me and husband) go through. It surely has taught us much. This journey of 9 months and its end result were so strong and powerful that it will keep us going through our lives and help us learn much more as we take up our future new phases of life.

And now for the little tit-bits of my pregnancy. The most important aspects during pregnancy I believe are the three F's

• FOOD
• FITNESS
• FOTO ( modified it to fit into the rhyme)

I'am sure your trimesters also revolve around these three things. You always think about the best you can eat, the best maternity photo shoot you can get and the best you can keep yourself fit during your pregnancy. Here is a sneak peak into my schedule of food, my maternity pics and my daily exercise routine that I strictly followed. 

FOOD:

This was pretty much my daily food routine ( meal and fruit-nut breaks)

FITNESS ( MY YOGA ROUTINE)

                                                             

MATERNITY PICTURES:

                                     

                                     

BABY's ARRIVAL:

                                                               THANK YOU ALL

The Right Time

The Universe, from its very existence has been driven by various forces. Humans being one among those forces. Times have changed and we, in 21st century have come to be more practical and independent souls. Increased stress levels and fast pace of life have drastically taken a toll over our lives. As we all know, whatever good or bad happens, life cannot and will not stop. 

In this trendy and developed world people love being on their own. But at the same time yearn for a life partner who would divide their sorrows and multiply their happiness. We most often get to hear about the increasing divorce rates, but we also get to see couples who are more like friends. Talking in Indian terms, be it love marriage or arranged, one big question that kind of haunts the married couples unknowingly is " When is the right time?".  Surprised or Skeptical about which right time am I talking about?. I'am sure about 50% of you might have guessed it right. Yes! indeed its the right time for kids. You may be modern in your thoughts and you may act independent but you cannot escape the questions from our elders about 1+1=3 theory (I address it that way). I'am in no way trying to disprove the thoughts of our elders of wanting to see and play with their grandchildren. I completely respect their thought and I'am sure I would also have same thoughts when i'am one of them. 

How and when this question should arise is the actual issue?. I also cannot deny the fact that its not always the elders from whom this question gets fired. In some situations couples find it difficult to decide the actual right time, when there is least pressure from parents. Mind it I said " actual right time ", which includes being influenced by their friends who are enjoying their right time or other factors. Elders might sometimes get emotional and completely forget the fact that every couple need their own sweet time to understand each other completely and then decide on when they would want to welcome a new member to the family. This doesn't mean couple who have had kid a bit early have been pressurized or are not happy with their new phase of life. Its finally the couple's decision which matters to have kids now, after a year, after 5 years, adopt a kid, even not have kids. 

The only thing I would want every couple to know is, do not get pressurized by whomsoever, do not get influenced by whatsoever , do what is right for you at that time coz no one else knows your priorities in life better than yourself. If you decide on settling things in life for now and have a baby after 3 or 4 years then respect that thought and go about it. I particularly say this because in most cases when you decide on having a baby after sometime then u get to hear ugly things like u r getting old and u will repent if you are unable to have it later and all such crappy stuffs. In such unavoidable situations only one thing will help you decide you better and that is "Ignoring the negatives" and at the same time believing in your decision that whatever be the end result I shall not regret. 

My intensions were here were purely to help people who have lost confidence on their journey towards better life. Wrapping it up I would say belief in oneself is what will take you long way.

Guilt and Forgiveness

Every individual is born different. Each one of us strive hard to be a better person in life. Many inspirational writers have written countless number of books on how to be happy and contented both personally and professionally. There are times when such books really help you to think in a positive way. If you have ever read such books, i'am sure you would have noticed the stress the authors lay on different virtues like patience, courteousness, gratitude, determination, awareness, commitment, confidence, sharing, sensitivity and many others  in their writing. Even though the writing seems to be very compelling it takes a lot of effort to bring about a change in your personality. But when it does, and if its for good there will be people to appreciate. 

Amidst these and various other virtues, somewhere the virtue of forgiveness is what catches my attention. Probably because, if all other things needs a bit of efforts and a change in attitude, forgiveness is one such thing which requires a command from your soul. You must have heard the phrase " Forgive and Forget", I do not say I disagree with it, but when its comes to implementing, it might be one of the most difficult thing ever done. The degree of mistake for which a person seeks forgiveness might be different and solely depends on the forgiver's perspective. 

I'am mostly referring to the mistakes which are unintentional and in most cases hurt the people we care for. For instance, once my aunt accidentally dropped one of my favorite mug, at that moment even though I was very well aware of the fact that it was not intentional, I kinda felt bad for the broken mug and not her. It took some time for me to realize that its was not her mistake. By that time my behavior had already made her feel guilty for nothing. The moment I said its fine I could feel her relax and take that burden of guilt down. This was just a small example, may be my behavior also was not intentional but, I made her feel sorry and gave least importance to her emotions. As quoted by M.K.Gandhi ji "Forgiveness is the attribute of strong" by forgiving you are not only relieving others from the burden but instead helping yourself to let go and move forward.  

Forgiveness comes later, but guilt is much more horrible thing. Be it any situation, if a mistake has happened, you pause for a moment and put yourself in other's shoes, in no time you will realize that you would never want to be on the other side of the mistake. According to me, there is nothing worst than the guilt feeling. There might be situations where it gets really hard for you to forgive, by doing so you are getting trapped in an unwanted swirl which will never let you come out of it and always pull you down. Instead, as people nowadays say hug it out, I would say will act as the best medicine in that situation. I say this because during all this time we completely forget that there are much more important things in life to be taken care of and much more things to enjoy and most importantly you will have one less thing to worry about. 

Metamorphosis

Gone are the days when India was infected by the fatal disease of female infanticide. I wouldn't say the country has completely overcome it, but, things are much better now. Families are considered to be incomplete without a girl. Parents now are putting in extra efforts to educate their daughters. Also, in India, women as an individual is much more diverse in her thoughts and is not limiting herself to just being a home maker. I offer my credits to every individual I have met till now and who have played their own sweet role in my life. They are the reason for me being able to write at least two lines about my metamorphosis.

I really have been a blessed child. As a kid I was treated equally with my brother. Being the youngest, I was pampered, but at the same time was well aware of the consequences of overdoing things. I literally enjoyed every damn thing which any upper middle class kid would have in his/her childhood. When I look back and think what is one thing I haven't done in my childhood?, I see that i'am left with an answer of nothing. Music, sports, arts, curricular u name it and i was into it. I specially mentioned this not to prove that I was super talented kid back then, but just to showcase how fortunate I was to having being exposed to the competitive world. Back then I took every music lesson of mine as a boring session but now when I'am, able to sing two lines of any song its only because of my music guru. May be at that time i did not know what I wanted to achieve in future but surely was confident that I will fare well in which ever field I would be into. Be it parents, family, extended family, friends, teachers, each one of them have been the influential pillars of my life.

I was more of a daddy's girl in my early teens and came on to be more close to my mom as I graduated to which my father still complaints. I still keep hearing the stories from my mom of how happy my father was when he first took me in his arms, how he used to take care of me when I was unwell. she said after I was born my dad transformed from being a short tempered person to the most patient individual (I personally also have seen some part of his transformation). My brother gets emotional if its something related to me and to him i'am his strength as well as weakness. This only makes me realize how important and precious I'am to them.

Its a dream of every parent to watch their daughter getting married. In India, even though things are changing rapidly, the tradition of arranged marriage still persists and works out to be successful in most cases. I too was one among them. Families agreed and the guy left no stone unturned to sweep me off my feet  and took me to be an integral part of his life. Most of the time the only thing that girls are worried about is how well will they gel along with the members of a completely new family. In my case I was kinda relaxed because my new family members ( i would prefer this instead of in-laws) were supportive and were more than happy to have me. It is kinda difficult in the initial stages when you are confused and scared. Things eventually change, you get used to people and people get used to you. You kinda get the knack of dealing with people. All this might sound easy but it rather requires patience and the willingness to accept people as they are.

On a bright sunny evening, in my patio ( balcony as we call it in india) sipping my evening chai, when i think of various stages of my life till date, I wonder when did i transform from a spoilt little brat to being a women?. Even though we are ignorant and naive when young, v still have our subconscious mind making note of every event and every act. We get influenced of all the things happening around us in some or the other way. Nobody does a class room learning to talk to people or react to situations. Learning from your past mistakes and sometimes other's mistakes, one can hope to build a better future.

Dependent and still happy....

In the present world where parents are constantly teaching their kids to be independent in life, how can someone even think of being dependent on someone????.Its true, the world seems to be full of independent people, but amongst which, there exists a small group of dependents.To be more precise, its Indian ladies residing in the United states of America on a H4 visa.

Being one among this elite group, I have had my own experiences and my own learning curve in the process of keeping myself occupied and busy. I'am sure every girl who comes as a dependent comes with a dream of getting some working experience in the US. As most of us know, getting a work permit is not at all an easy task. It wasn't easy for me either. Hope, faith, wait and what not went when i applied for a H1 lottery in the spring-summer time of 2013. It took no time for me to know that luck wasn't on my side and my application was not picked( i would prefer not picked instead of rejected just to please myself). Then was the time i felt i had no options left but to wait for the next year lottery. I was almost at the rim of my emotional outburst, when i realized, if i have to wait, why waste the wait.

Life gives you umpteen reasons to get bored, but he who manages to kill boredom with something interesting will strive long. After that heart breaking news i started sympathizing myself and would try every other option to console myself. One day at the city library, where i used to drop in every now n then, i came across a leaflet which said " Seminar on how to think positive". To my good luck the seminar was being held at the library and i could attend it as i had all the time available in the world.

I was taught from my childhood that if you help at least one individual to learn something, that means you have added one more count to the list of good deeds. I was the only one who was sitting among ladies aged 50 plus. I was discouraged at the beginning, but, it took no time for me to get involved in the discussion. What was discussed is what even i don't remember till date but the outcome is one thing which i would cherish the rest of my life. I was enlightened and my mind was thrown open to a whole new world. As an outcome of the seminar, i happen to know more about volunteering, and within a span of 30 minutes i was introduced to the head of the Job help center(JHC) of the city library. It hardly took me 5 minutes to fill in the volunteer form and i was now known as a Volunteer at the JHC. I knew i would be out of the monetary affairs and would not be paid, but the thought of being employed and helping someone learn was so overwhelming that i felt it was one of the happiest days of my life. For a girl who used to kill time at home watching Indian daily soaps and do nothing, this was a big U turn. I was happy to be a part of such a warm and welcoming staff of the JHC, who in all ways made me feel comfortable. Work wise i was happy and contended even if i had to repeatedly teach patrons on how to attach a file in Gmail? how to reply to e-mails? how to open a yahoo or a Gmail account? or how to build a simple resume. The smile and the satisfaction on the faces of patrons was a big stress buster. Days went on and i made lots of friends ( patrons at the library who were double my age) who would always surprise me with their enthusiasm to learn.

All of these experiences taught me to value the time to learn new things. I'am sure if my H1 application had gone through successfully i would not even have thought of volunteering. I'am a strong believer in the saying that" whatever happens happens for the best". I'am so thankful to everyone who directly or indirectly helped in the process. Time flies and one has to move on in life. After about a year , I had to relocate. I had absolutely no regrets and was happy to be a part of the library. As i bid a bye bye to the city and the library i carried a bag full of memories, courage to take life as it comes, and never get discouraged by anything. Here I'am in a new state and a new city and whole lots of new avenues for volunteering.

I have had corporate experience before in India and I'am also aware of the stress that one has to go through everyday. Then,I always used to regret for not having time for my hobbies ( photography, cooking and music), family and friends. Now when i see, i know, God is super impressed by me and has entitled me to be dependent and enjoy life to the fullest and take up my hobby seriously. I take inspiration from the flower in the image which says "one has to bloom and bring out the best before its the time to whither away".